Freeform Glossary
The following is a list of terms and phrases of various relationship styles, relationship dynamics, sexual acts, interests, and kinks, alongside their definitions. This is a living document - terms may be added and definitions adjusted over time, in response to new learning and input from community members (including you). If you have any suggestions for changes or additions, please click here.
A
Aftercare: Emotional or physical care provided after sexual play or a scene that helps partners return to a safe, secure state. (Examples: cuddling, hydration, snacks, showering, conversation, massage, emotional connection).
Amatonormativity : The pervasive societal belief, cultural assumption, or attitude that everyone wants an exclusive romantic relationship, contributing to social pressures to “couple up” or prioritize dating and romantic relationships above other relationships.
Anal Sex : any sexual activity involving penetration of the anus.
B
BDSM : Bondage, Discipline, Dominance, Submission, Sadism, and Masochism.
C
CBT (Cock and Ball Torture) : a sexual activity involving pain or constriction applied to the male genitalia, specifically the penis and the testicles.
CNC (Consensual Non-Consent) : a planned, mutually agreed upon BDSM or role play scenario when one partner will simulate non-consensual behavior or sexual acts on the other, who pretends to resist. The course of the scene is agreed upon beforehand, and relies on strict boundaries, safety protocols (such as safe words and signals), and trust to simulate non-consensual acts safety. It is designed for gratification and exploration, not actual abuse.
CNM (Consensual Non-Monogamy) : an umbrella term for relationship structures where all partners involved explicitly consent to having multiple sexual and/or romantic relationships simultaneously. (For example, swinging, open relationships, polyamory all fall under this umbrella). Differs from the term “Ethical Non-Monogamy” in that it focuses on the explicit, ongoing consent of all partners involved.
Compersion : A feeling of joy when your partner experiences pleasure or love with another person (different from the feeling of being aroused).
D
Degradation (Kink) : a pre-negotiated, consensual role play power dynamic where one person derives pleasure, arousal, or emotional release from being spoken to or treated disrespectfully, demeaned or humiliated, and may involve verbal and/or physical degradation and objectification.
Dom/sub (Dominant and submissive) : terms used to describe a negotiated, consensual power dynamic within BDSM or kink where one person (Dom) takes control and the other (sub) choose to surrender their control. Although the Dom is in control during the “scene”, the submissive ultimately controls the boundaries.
Dom/Sub Subtypes -
Brat/Brat Tamer : The submissive takes on the role of a “brat”, by intentionally testing or disobeying the dominant to receive “punishment”.
Chastity/Keyholding : The Dominant holds the key to a locking device worn by the submissive, controlling when sexual release is allowed.
D/s lovers : partners engage in the dynamic during sex.
Financial Domination (Findom) : A submissive (cash-piggy/money slave/paypig/finsub) experiences gratification by giving money or gifts, sometimes called “tribute” to the Dominant (Findomme/Findom).
Lifestyle, 24/7 (Total Power Exchange - TPE) : the dynamic extends to daily life and is a constant, not just during sexual play.
Master/Slave (M/s) : The submissive (slave) chooses to give up autonomy and allows their Master to manage, control, or make decisions regarding various aspects of their life, outside of sexual play. This can also fall under the category of TPE.
Primal/Predator-Prey : The Dom acts of consesual raw or instinctual behavior in the form of hunting, stalking, or animal-like aggression.
Service Submission/ Service-Oriented : Focuses on the submissive’s desire to be useful, finding gratification in performing acts of service, chores, or tasks for their Dominant.
Training/Mentor-Protégé : The Dominant takes on a teacher role to train the submissive, focusing on obedience, routines, and sexual and/or non-sexual skills.
E
Edging : Bringing oneself or one’s partner to the brink (“the edge”) of an orgasm, stopping stimulation before climax. This prolongs pleasure, intensifying the final climax. May also be used to treat premature ejaculation.
ENM (Ethical Non-Monogamy) : An umbrella term for engaging in multiple romantic and/or sexual relationships with the full knowledge and consent of all partners involved. Differs from the term “Consensual Non-Monogamy” in that it specifically emphasizes a moral framework of honesty and communication.
Exhibitionism/Exhibition Kink : Sexual arousal from being observed by others, through exposing ones body or genitals, during consensual public play or public sex, and/or digital content sharing.
F
Foot Play : any sexual, intimate or romantic activity or interaction involving the feet.
Full Swap (Hard Swap) : A consensual sexual agreement where couples exchange partners to exchange in full sexual intercourse/penetration.
Furry : A person interested in anthropomorphic animals or animals with human like characteristics. May be nonsexual and involve a focus on art, costuming, or friendship. May incorporate sexual elements such as “yiff” (erotic art/furry porn) or sexual role play in character (sexual interest is rarely the sole motivation for engagement).
G
Group Sex (GS) : Sexual activity involving more than two people.
H
Heteronormativity : The pervasive societal belief, cultural assumption, or attitude that heterosexuality is the default sexual orientation, creating a default assumption that everyone is straight until proven otherwise, and that people fall into two distinct genders (male/female) with assigned roles. Influences laws, media, culture and social expectations, prioritizing opposite-sex relationships. Presents other sexualities as abnormal, fueling homophobia and transphobia.
I
Impact Play : A form of BDSM involving consensual striking, slapping, spanking or flogging.
J
K
L
Latex/Rubber : Describes fetish wear made from shiny, skin-tight or restrictive clothing.
The “Lifestyle” : A term that conveys sexual practices of couples and individuals who enjoy recreational sex or swinging with other consenting adults (“swingers”).
M
Master/servant : a consensual power exchange where the submissive (slave) chooses to give up autonomy and allows their Master to manage, control, or make decisions regarding various aspects of their life, outside of sexual play. This can also fall under the category of TPE (24/7, lifestyle, or Total Power Exchange)..
Mononormativity : the pervasive societal belief, cultural assumption, or attitude that the only natural, moral or "correct” way to structure relationships is within an exclusive, two-person (monogamous) romantic and sexual relationship. Tied to the ideal of the “nuclear family”, and assertion that a romantic partner must be the primary source of emotional, sexual, and practical support - often placing romantic partnership above friendships or other connections. Influences laws, media, culture and social expectations, fueling stigma, bias and discrimination against alternative relationship structures.
Manual Sex (Fingering, Handjobs) : the stimulation of a partner’s genitals or anus using the fingers and hands.
Metamour : Your partner’s other partners.
Monogamish : refers to a relationship that is primarily monogamous, with the couple primarily committing to one another while occasionally allowing for consensual sexual (but not romantic) experiences with outside partners.
N
Nipple Play : the stimulation of the nipples or surrounding areola for sexual pleasure, arousal or intimacy. May involve touching, kissing, licking or using toys.
NRE (New Relationship Energy) : the intense energy and exciting feelings that start at the beginning of a new relationship.
O
Open Relationship : refers to a form of ENM or CNM where both partners consent to pursuing sexual and/or romantic relationships outside of their partnership.
Orgy : a gathering where multiple people are involved in sexual activity, or group sex, together. Differs from the traditional definition of group sex, in that the word “orgy” may imply a larger, more chaotic, or more intense form of group sex, involving five or more people.
P
Pegging : the act of one partner using a strap-on dildo to penetrate the other partner anally (usually refers to a woman penetrating a man).
Pet play : role play of human-animal interaction, where an individual embodies an animal (pups, kittens, etc.) or acts as a caretake (handler/trainer). Can be sexual in nature, part of a BDSM dynamic, or non-sexual, focusing on stress-relief, affection and companionship.
Polyamory : the practice of engaging in multiple romantic relationships, with the consent of all people involved.
Subtypes:
Hierarchical : implies a hierarchy among the relationships, where one relationships is the priority - the “primary” - and the other relationships are “secondary”
Nonhierarchical (Egalitarian) : partners with equal importance and autonomy without built in tiers or rigidity
Parallel Polyamory : partners maintain separate independent relationships from each other, with minimal to no interactions between partners
Kitchen Table
Solo polyamoary
Polycule : an entire group of people and their interconnected relationships.
Polyfidelity : the practice of polyamory when a group of multiple people are in romantic relationships with each other, but do not date or pursue relationships outside of the group.
Q
R
Relationship Anarchy (RA) : a relationship philosophy rejecting predefined rules and hierarchies, centering consent, personal autonomy, radical honesty, and individually designed commitments, interpersonal responsibility & agreements. Applies anarchist principles to all interpersonal connections, regardless of romantic or sexual involvement.
Relationship Escalator : a term coined by Amy Gahran in 2012 - the default societal expectations for romantic relationships that we often follow by default, and use to gauge whether relationships are worth continuing to pursue it may vary slightly by culture & sub-culture).
Rimming : Oral stimulation of a partner’s anus using the tongue or lips.
Roleplay (Sexual) : Partners act out specific, previously agreed upon real or imagined characters and/or scenarios to explore intimacy or fantasy (Example: teacher/student, cop/criminal).
S
Scat Play : Sexual play involving feces.
Sadism/Masochism (sadomasochim/SM) : experiencing pleasure or arousal from consensually agreed upon infliction or experience of pain, hardship, or humiliation.
Safewords : Mutually agreed-upon words or signals used to pause or stop sexual play or a scene in order to ensure safety.
Same Room : A consensual scenario where couples engage in sexual play while in the same room, often with the intent of watching or being watch. May or may not involve swapping.
Sensory Deprivation : Consensually, intentionally limiting one or more senses in order to heighten the remaining senses. Increases sensitivity, sensation, anticipation. (Example: Blind folds, noise-cancelling headphones, movement restriction).
Separate room : in the context of swinging, partners agree engage with other partners in different, private rooms.
Soft Swap : a consensual sexual agreement where couples exchange partners, but does not involved full intercourse/penetration, and is limited to activities such as kissing, manual sex or oral sex.
Swinging : a form non-monogamy where couples and individuals exchange partners for sexual activities (sometimes called partner-swapping or “wife-swapping”).
Switch : A person who enjoys taking on both the role of the Dominant and the submissive, often alternative roles depending on mood or partner.
T
Threesome : when three people engage in sexual activity together.
Substypes:
MMF - implies a dynamic where both the man and woman interact with the man
FFM - implies a dynamic where both the man and the woman interact with the woman
MFM - implies a dynamic where both men interact with the women, but not each other
FMF - implies a dynamic where both women interact with the man, but not each other
Throuple : a relationship structure involving three individuals. May be used interchangeable with “triad”, while some assert that “throuple” differs in that it involved a hierarchical structure where one person joins an already existing couple (AB- C).
Triad : a relationship structure where three individuals all have relationships with each other (A-B, B-C, and A-C). May be used interchangeably with “throuple”, while some assert that “throuple” refers to an individual joining an already existing couple (AB - C).
U
V
Voyeurism/ Voyeur Kink : sexual arousal from observing others with their consent, including their exposed body or genitals, viewing consensual public play or public sex, and/or digital content sharing,
W
Water sports : a broad term for sexual play involving urine. (Golden shower, which specifically refers to the act of one person urinating on another, falls under the umbrella term of watersports).